16
July
The other day I was wood staining my banisters, as you do when you want to take your mind off what is quite a confusing world at the moment. The woodstain was a classy shade of browny red, and, to match that classiness, I had found an old pair of underpants to use as a makeshift cloth to mop up any spillages. The job went well and I was satisfied with my afternoon’s work. That is until I opened the side door to put the makeshift cloth I’d been using in the bin. It just so happened that my neighbour was also putting their rubbish out, and to their untrained eye, it looked as if I was discarding a pair of blood-splattered underpants.
I’m not sure if you’ve found yourself in a situation such as this, but one’s brain doesn’t always work quite the way you’d like it to. Without thinking, I quickly spluttered out “It’s okay...it’s woodstain.. I haven’t killed anyone.” My neighbour gave a nervous smile, quickly retreated to his house, and if I’m completely honest, I think he’s been avoiding me ever since, certain in the knowledge I’ll soon be unmasked as the secret underpants murderer. My attempts at calming the situation had just made an awkward situation worse. Which, happily, is what I want to talk about today. No, not blood stained underpants, but how to avoid a minor annoyance turning into a much worse situation.
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