A thief’s way of thinking!

Your friendly neighbourhood burglar!

Well hello there. It’s Fingers McGhee here, your friendly neighbourhood burglar. The locksmith chap has been kind enough to let me have a guest blog this month. He may live to regret this as I feel he’s had it his own way for too long. I’m not happy about the way he’s been passing on tips on how to help secure your homes and properties. So to help balance things, I’ll be listing my own tips today on how you can make my life just that bit easier. You know it makes sense after all.

Time to breach your home security

First of all, your locks. Now don’t listen to all that nonsense about fitting new fancy anti-snap locks. Complete waste of money, trust me. What you want to do is keep the old ones in place. So what if they can be breached in a matter of seconds? Just think of it as helping out your old pal, Fingers – no point making things difficult for me, it just wouldn’t be fair on old McGhee.

In fact, if you really want to help a brother out, why bother locking the doors at all? Keep them unlocked if you’re in the garden or have just popped out for a while – it’s such a hassle for you locking and unlocking the doors, spending time searching for your keys. I’m trying to make things easier for you here, keep things simple and the doors unlocked.

Whilst we’re at it, please don’t fit security lights on the outside of the house. They’re a real pain, believe me. No-one wants to see me traipsing across your lawn or down your drive, and I’m never looking my best at 2 o clock in the morning. Far better to keep things dark, it’s safer for me and safer for you. Well, technically it’s not safer for you, but one out of two ain’t bad, is it.

House alarms now, and again, not worth the bother believe me. No one will take any notice of it and, truth be told, it plays havoc on my eardrums. Sometimes I have to leave early to get away from the sound, and that’s really not that hospitable or welcoming of you, is it? Driving poor Fingers out of your house before he’s had a chance to have a nosey around.  We’d all be happier with no alarms or security systems, trust me. And if you can’t trust a burglar, who can you trust?

You may have noticed the weather’s improved a bit recently, hasn’t it? And whilst I’m more of a shift worker, toiling away at nights and missing the sunny days, I can still appreciate the warmer weather. One thing I do encourage is you leaving out any garden tools, machinery or bicycles at night. You might do yourself an injury shifting them in and out of the house or locking them away in the shed. Take my advice and leave them out in the garden – what’s the worst that can happen after all? Fingers will make sure they stay perfectly safe.

Speaking of the warmer weather, it would be a shame if your house got too hot in the summer months. Take the advice of old Fingers here and leave your windows open at all times. That’ll keep the temperature nice and cool in your house for me.. I mean for you, not me, what was I thinking there? Silly Fingers, getting his words mixed up again. It definitely won’t be me taking advantage of the open windows, no sirree.

Contact your locksmith in Rotherham

Anyway, the locksmith’s making signs at me now as if I should wrap up this blog. I trust my advice has been invaluable. Follow all the steps and I’ll hopefully see you soon, if you know what I mean. Apparently it was one of the stipulations of me doing this blog that I still have to say that if you want any locksmith advice and yada yada, why would you really…