Right, I guess there’s no avoiding it any more. It’s December and so the C word is well and truly around the corner. No, not *that* one, and don’t be vulgar – I’m talking about Christmas of course. The John Lewis advert is out, we’ve had the first smattering of snow, the advent calendars have been torn open, and I’m beginning to stress about having done no preparation whatsoever.
The festive season sees a huge increase in the number of parties on the horizon. Not for me, obviously, as I don’t get invited to any. But popular people – they’ll be out constantly this month. Office parties, work dos, family get togethers – it’s a time for eating, drinking and celebrating. And speaking of drinking, that brings us to the subject of today’s blog – how the consumption of alcohol can, believe or not, directly affect our home security.Continue Reading
Ernie the Fastest Milkman in the West; Bandit from Smokey and the Bandit, and yours truly – what do these three people have in common? No, it’s not that, or that...and I’ll thank you not to be so rude. It is of course that we all mainly work from our respective mode of transport, whether that be an ice cream van, a delivery truck, or my trusty locksmiths van. And whilst I wouldn’t claim to have a moustache as impressive as Burt’s, nor an eye for the ladies quite as obvious as Ernie’s, we do share the common theme that our jobs would be nigh on impossible to do from a fixed location.
Yes, there are ice cream parlours, and yes, there are some locksmiths who work from a shop, but personally speaking, there is no way I could do my job without being fully mobile. You might have seen me driving around the area in my works van which, to all intents and purposes, is my very own mobile workshop containing everything I need to complete most jobs. It has so many advantages for the customers in my work and I’d just like to mention a few of those today.Continue Reading
I was thinking the other day about how I used to play hide and seek as a kid. I was never the best at it – always chose the same hiding place and should really have been easily found. Weirdly, it often took my parents an unusually long time to find me. In fact, once, when I was in the usual hiding place of under my bed, it took them two whole weeks to find me. I was proud of myself that summer, until it later emerged they’d actually gone to Tenerife for a fortnight and used the game as a pretext to leave me at home. But anyway, that story is for another day. What it does bring us on to is the subject of hiding which is what I’ll be talking about today. Not so much hiding ourselves on this occasion, but rather hiding the keys to your house.
I’ll start off by saying that hiding your keys for yourself or others to find and let themselves into your house is NEVER to be recommended. Keep them with you at all times, and if you have spare sets, make sure they’re locked away in your house. If you have sets of keys hidden outside so that family members or friends can easily get them and let themselves into the house, you run a very high risk of someone much more unwelcome finding them, and being able to help themselves to the belongings in your home. To illustrate, here are a few places that you might think are handy places to leave your keys, but trust me – they really aren’t.Continue Reading
I believe it was the Walker Brothers who sang "Breaking up is so very hard to do." And whilst I wouldn't want to diminish their point (made in the classic song Make it Easy On Yourself) an alternative lyric could well have been "Moving house is so very hard to do.." Admittedly it might not have had such a wide appeal on the radio stations of the 1960s, but we could have all nodded along in agreement because moving house IS so very hard to do.Continue Reading
“We’re all going on a Summer holiday, No more working for a week or two, fun and laughter on our summer holiday, no more worries for....” Oh shut up, Cliff. We aren’t all on holidays, you know. Bloody Cliff, always making assumptions for me or you, that’s him. But anyway, as he brought it up, yes it does seem to be the time of year when a lot of people are jetting off to sunnier climes. Climes, that’s an odd word, isn’t it. Climes. Climes. Say it often enough and it loses all meaning. Climes. Climes. I think I need a holiday myself.Continue Reading
I believe it was that great philosopher Gary Numan who once said “In cars, in cars, in cars. In my car, in my car, in my car, in my car, in cars, in cars, in my car, in my car, in my car, in my car.” Really makes you think doesn’t it. That may give you a clue as to what I’ll be talking about this month. Nope, not 80s electronic synth pop (although I’d be happy to wax lyrical on that at a later date) but cars.
But hang on, you’re thinking. You’re a locksmith, not a budding Top Gear presenter. Why on earth are you banging on about cars? Have you gone mad? At which point I’d do that “A ha” thing and whip out the following link, http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/thieves-target-high-value-cars-in-doncaster-1-8586423 seen in the Doncaster Star last month. And then you’d go “Oh, I see, you’re not going mad after all and it’s all beginning to make sense.” And then you might buy me a beer, we’d become friends, and you’d ask me to be the godfather to your children. And at that point I’d hesitate because I’ve got quite a lot on and am not sure if I want that further responsibility, and then I’d remember this is all hypothetical anyway and breathe a sigh of relief.Continue Reading
And so here we are. You're probably wondering why I've gathered you here today. Well the thing is, I thought we'd just have one more election...or maybe two. I was wondering if I could count on your vote..no, wait, come back... stop running away, screaming hysterically. Right, maybe that's not the best plan after all.
It's the morning after the night before. Yes, I'm writing this the day after Eurovision. There were songs, some were good, some were bad, the UK didn't win, and the slightly wet chap singing the song from Portugal won. I think that clears it all up. I'll be honest, my Eurovision analysis is not what it could be. Fortunately that's not really my area of expertise and if you're wanting in depth socio-political commentary about the scoring system (so reassuring when Greece and Cyprus give each other 12 points), I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place.Continue Reading
I've been thinking about doors recently. There are many different types of doors, of course, depending on your cultural references. There's THE Doors, naturally, with your man Jim Morrison's insistence on having his fire lit. Let's not forget the blonde bombshell, Diana Dors (real name Diane Fluck, fact fans), and of course there's George Dawes, the character played by Matt Lucas on Shooting Stars. Yes, lots of doors indeed. But this diversion is just a roundabout way of getting round to saying that today I'll be talking about a specific type of door - the front door to your property.Continue Reading