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Holidays With A Rotherham Locksmith

15th August 2021

What with Covid and lockdowns, it’s not really been much of a time for touring the world. To some of us that won’t have made much of a difference whilst for others it will have felt like quite the restriction. There has been the advantage in that less thought has had to be given to how to protect your house whilst you’re away for a summer holiday, but all being told, it’s not much of a silver lining to the staycation cloud. 

Whilst we await the return of easier foreign travel without the tests and vaccine records required, we can still plan trips for the future, even if only in our heads at the moment. And that got me thinking about appropriate places for a locksmith such as myself to go on holiday. Because, well, it’s August and that’s how I choose to spend my evenings. 

A bit of sun is nice this time of year, so first of all how about a flight across the Atlantic and a week spent in the Florida Keys. Because, well, sun and sea and beach, and also… Keys. This isn’t going to get a lot more intellectual than that I’m afraid, it was that or Turkey. I could probably call my Florida trip a business expense if I say I’m checking on the quality of Florida’s keys themselves… they all have to meet BS standards and have kitemarks, after all.  Whilst I’m that side of the pond I could go up north and visit Yale University too, just for a bit of specialist knowledge. 

You’ll never guess what’s next after the key puns. Yep, we’re back in the UK and up to Scotland to tour the lochs. Lomond, Ness, Tay, it’ll be a lovely drive around them where I can not only search for monsters but also ensure that all the lochs are anti-snap – very important, as I’ve banged on about in the past. One could say…wait for it, that I’ll be more.. take a deep breath… a lochsmith than a locksmith. Yeah, I went there. 

After Scotland, I think I’ll continue on the northward trajectory and go on a cruise between Sweden and Poland. For what is located there but the Baltic sea. And I know we’re getting tenuous already, but Baltic contains a syllable that sounds a bit like “bolt” and that’s a word firmly in the vocabulary of a locksmith so I’m having that one. 

A quick trip west from the Baltic will be next, and I’ll be sure to put on my thermals for a stopover in Iceland. Iceland, you say? That’s not even vaguely lock-related. And I would agree until I tell you that Iceland is short for Morticelockland, but the first and third syllables are generally left out. Don’t look that up on the internet, by the way, just trust me. It’s not that I’m struggling with puns to pad this out, no sirree. 

It’s all turned quite chilly, so our next two destinations are going to take us up the temperature scale for a nice bit of sunbathing to top off the tan. A week each in the UPVSeychelles and the islands of Anti(snaplock)gua and Barbuda. In many ways this month’s blog is a cry for help, but don’t worry, it’ll be over very soon. It’s definitely proving I need a holiday anyway. 

The final leg of my trip will take me back to England and a couple of weekends on the south coast staying in Pad(lock)stow and Torquay. Because it sounds like TorKEY, see! 

Right, the best thing we can all do is probably forget all this, and hope that travel will be a lot easier soon, and I can get back to what I know. Fortunately my expertise in locks and security far outweighs my expertise in lock puns. 

For any assistance with lock or security issues, or if you have been affected by any issues raised in this pun-laden blog, call me on 07990573857



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